Blog - Dangers of victim blaming and victim shaming

Victim blaming is where the victim of a crime, sexual assault or domestic violence is accused of causing that action to happen.

An example of victim blaming is when people ask “what was she wearing?” or “how drunk was she?”

Victim shaming is similar. It is when the victim is accused of making up the incident or of bringing it up at a convenient time. An example of victim shaming is when Bill Cosby was accused of several sexual assaults. A lot of people said that the victims were in it for the money or the fame because they had waited so long to bring it up.

Both are dangerous. We are giving ourselves reasons to not believe that someone we love (a friend or celebrity) would do that. But by doing so, we are hurting the victims even more.

Choosing to not believe that sexual assault, domestic violence, etc. actually happened adds to the victim’s pain. It causes them to lose trust in the people they hope would help them. By questioning, we are causing them to feel ashamed of what happened to them.

Because of this, seventy-five percent of assaults against women are not reported to police for several reasons including:

They are afraid of what their abuser will do if they find out

They don’t want anyone to know

They are afraid no one will believe them

They are afraid no one will take it seriously

Victim shaming/blaming not only affects victims, it affects the abusers. It gives abusers the idea that since no one believes the victims, they can do it again. If we don’t hold the abusers accountable for what they did, what is stopping them from doing it again?

Domestic violence and sexual assault victims should never be blamed or shamed for what happened to them. Victims should be embraced and given as much help as they need. As survivors, victims and advocates, we need to speak out against the violence and not tolerate it any longer.